"The closest I came to making love to a black woman was I, uh,
masturbated to a picture of Aunt Jemima on a pancake box"

"I did it right on her kerchief"

MR. STERN: (Talking about Pee Wee Herman)

". . . you're allowed to whip it out and spew that evil gunk all over everybody".

MR. STERN: (Talking to singer Lenny Kravitz' friend
Shannon about Mr. Kravitz' former wife, Lisa Bonet)

. . . did you ever masturbate and think about Lisa?"

MR. STERN: (Talking to Comedian Richard Lewis)

"Do you ever Beat-off to Jamie Lee Curtis?"

MR. STERN: (Talking on the telephone to Stacy Golinda cast member of Knots Landing)

" . . . Hey, I've done stuff to myself and thought about you . . .
One time I was laying in bed, right . . . . so in order to get to bed early
I have to have some kind of sex and my wife is not always available
because she is putting the kids to bed, you understand what I'm saying . . .
and what a mess you caused . . . my whole bed was a messy . . . "

MR. STERN: "Imagine what people are doin' in their cars right
now while they're listening . . . guys masturbating . . . "

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... Howard Stern, 'Private Parts'

"My mother raised me like a veal. I was like growing up in box with no lights on."

"One time I ran out of underpants. So my mother told me to wear her panties to school."

"So one day she (Stern's mother, Ray) complained to him (Stern's father, Ben) that
her hand hurt from smacking me. He told her to get a stick and hit me."

""Look, your mother has to express herself in some way, he (Ben Stern)
told me. "Let her give you couple of little bangs and we'll get it over with.
Why are you making such a big thing out of it?""

"My father's favorite sport was yelling."


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MR. STERN: (With female in studio guest who he is going to spank):
"I better get to the spanking part of this . . .
I'm getting raped and I can't say that I hate it . . .
Are you ready Honey . . . my hand is a little cold though . . .
are you sure that you don't want to take those pants off all the way . . .
that's O.K. they are down far enough . . . what is this a Bikini you're wearin' . . .
you don't got no hair on your Butt . . .
she don't have any hair on her Butt . . . are you finding this erotic . . .
are you ready . . . the hair on her Butt is worn off . . . I love this job . . .
are you ready . . . how many do you want . . . say, Howard I've been a bad girl, . ..
(sound of a "spank") . . . how's that . . . you like that . . .


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"By the time I hit seventh grade there were only a handful of white kids left in my school. That's when the beatings (by blacks) began to get regular. And lunchtime was the worst. I think I was providing lunch money for half the school. I'd hide my forty cents of lunch money in my sock, and black guys would come, choke me, rip my shoes off my feet, and take my money. One time I was able to sneak onto the line and actually buy lunch, but this guy Ronald came up to me and said "I didn't get your lunch money. Think you tricked me?" Then he stuck his big black hand into my salad, scooped the whole thing up into his mouth, and swallowed it. It was like Lord of the Flies."

... Howard Stern, 'Private Parts'

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New York State Penal Code, Section 230.10 Prostitution and patronizing a prostitute; no defense.

In any prosecution for prostitution or patronizing a prostitute, the sex of the two parties or prospective parties to the sexual conduct engaged in, contemplated or solicited is immaterial, and it is no defense that:

1. Such persons were of the same sex; or

2. The person who received, agreed to receive or solicited a fee was a male and the person who paid or agreed or offered to pay such fee was a female.


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New York Penal Cose, Section 230.15 Promoting prostitution; definitions of terms.

The following definitions are applicable to this article:

1. "Advance prostitution." A person "advances prostitution" when, acting other than as a prostitute or as a patron thereof, he knowingly causes or aids a person to commit or engage in prostitution, procures or solicits patrons for prostitution, provides persons or premises for prostitution purposes, operates or assists in the operation of a house of prostitution or a prostitution enterprise, or engages in any other conduct designed to institute, aid or facilitate an act or enterprise of prostitution.


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The Howard Stern Show - October 28, 1996

Discussion of Howard Stern sodomizing his wife, Alison, and being
congratulated by his wacky pals, Robin Quivers, Jackie Martling and Scott Norris.

This 'comedy' presentation was complete with the sound effects of a cat screaming and a sucking noise as if something was being pulled out of the mud.

Stern Says................

"I plowed some new territory on Saturday"
"I don't think it feels that different."
"I know why gay guys do it, it's almost like being with a woman"
"It should have felt like a 10 year old"
"Do you get your girl on her back or . . ."
"You kinda' feel like it's a rape or something."
"But she liked it."

Hey Howard, just for the record ....... here's the sodomy law in New York!

New York State Penal Code, Section. 130.38 Consensual sodomy.

A person is guilty of consensual sodomy when he engages in deviate sexual intercourse with another person.

Consensual sodomy is a class B misdemeanor.


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"All women are whores, they will spread their legs for
any man with enough money."

... Howard Stern

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