Sallie Tyrnauer

May 10 1999

Dose everyone have it?* Well, it seems that way. The popularity of it has gained momentum recently due to the acceptance of a discovery made long ago. Some profess to have a little of it; others say they grow out of it during childhood. These statements simply can not be true. I know I have it; it's DYSLEXIA.

If you're dyslexic, you're dyslexic for life, and if there is an after life, which I'm not convinced there is, you will still be dyslexic. It is as much a part of the person as the genetic code. Perhaps one day scientists will find the genetic code that holds the formula for creating a dyslexic human. To what end? We will have to wait and see.

You can't be a little dyslexic, and you can never, ever grow out of it. However, with dedication and a stoic will to achieve, you can learn to compensate for it.

When I first went to school I thought I was the most important, and the smartest Kid in the world. But in a day or two, I discovered I was chopped liver. I was totally lost in a sea of letters, numbers, and words. From 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday to Friday, I was in a world that totally dumfounded me. With enormous relief at 15, I escaped from school. The trouble was I could not read or spell, add or subtract. I had wasted 10 years of my life and gained nothing. Well, I did gain something, a reputation for being lazy, uncooperative and stubborn. My parents, being very wise, sent me at 12 years old to ballet school, a cure for flat feet. This was a desperate attempt to find something I was good at, or perhaps I might enjoy. It worked; I was a gifted dancer. So with toe shoes in hand, I went out to meet the world.

Now the world is a pretty harsh place, and when the three Rs are totally out of reach, it's scary. I was in show biz doing beautifully, but they wanted me to act, so they handed me a script.

Boom! My head suffered a severe explosion, a panic so intense that death would have been a welcome relief. What a problem!!! I had kept my lack of proficiency of the three Rs a secret, a secret that had to be kept. Without it, I was nothing. Desperate, I found the solution, which was to have someone read the script to me. I discovered that, out of fear, I could memorize a whole page in one reading. That's how I survived and continued to be successful.

I was thirty- five before I discovered I was learning disabled and not just plain stupid. Wonderful! I got some help, and did learn how to read a little, but no better than a six year old. Luckily at 52, I found Santa Barbara City College. Now I can read with comprehension, slower than most but for me, the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest.

To keep control of my reading skills, I must practice every day. I only look at two to four letters at a time, and never a whole word larger than four letters. I'm visually dyslexic, and if I don't stick to the rules the letters turn upside down, sideways, and melt on the page. I read words from the line above and below; it's crazy - even letters within a word change places. I'm a phonetic reader and often I come up with the most extraordinary words unknown to man in any language. Time is my enemy. Living in a world of letters is like trudging through very deep mud.

What I need as a student is extra time, for assignments and tests, so that I can present my work in readable form. I also use books on tape so I can keep up with the class. A proof reader is a must for me. A computer is helpful but I have no way of telling if I've chosen the correct word from the spell checker. If it begins with R and ends with R it must be reader. I can't spell! Taking notes is nightmare time. I need notes from anybody willing to share, because I can't listen and write at the same time. If I could choose my own way of learning it would be lectures and verbal exams. My strong points are verbal skills, vocabulary, comprehension, focus and a determination to be successful.

In spite of the difficulties people with learning disabilities have, they can be productive and successful citizens. With an understanding of our individual disabilities and tools to compensate for them, students with learning disabilities can do remarkable things.

Without my processing deficits I could have been a scientist and solved the riddle of perpetual motion, or perhaps joined the M.I.T team. No matter, for what I've done with what I've had to work with, it's the equivalent to the above.

Now the next time you have the urge to say, I'm a little dyslexic, or I had it as a child, think again; there ain't no such animal.

* Editor's note: Sallie included a misspelling consciously in the title and first line to show how difficult the spelling of a word as simple as does can be.