Dear Ann,
What is the proper thing to do?
My boss's younger brother passed away on Saturday and his funeral is this thursday and I would like to attend.
I have worked with my boss for nearly 2 years, and we have a very open working relationship and I feel that if I did not attend, that I would be disrespecting him. Do you think I should attend? I have already sent him a potted plant.
Please let me know what you think.
--Shauna
Attending the funeral of someone who is important to a person we care about is a sign of respect, even if you did not know the person who died. The fact that you feel it is the right thing to do is enough reason to do it. Your boss is likely to be very sad and upset at the death of his younger brother. Seeing that his employees care enough about him to attend the funeral will make him feel that you are honoring his brother, and that will mean a lot to him.
I've always found it interesting how much you can learn about a person by attending his or her funeral. Very often you may have only known the person from work or from mutual social activities, so you don't really know the whole person. At the funeral you may find out that the person had done many things that you didn't even know about.
By all means go to the funeral. Let your boss know you are there to support him, especially later when he returns to work. People grieve in different ways. He may not want to talk about the death of his brother with you. But if he brings it up, listen. Don't shy away. Most of the time the person who is grieving doesn't expect you to really tell him/her what to do, they just want to be able to talk about. Being a good listener is the best thing you can do.
--Ann
bpbooks@west.net