No Pruient Details - But A $1,000 Sign For Howard Stern

New Jersey Governor, and frequent Stern show guest, Christie Todd Whitman finds fault with The Starr Report's verbiage in describing Mr. Clinton getting sucked-off in the Oval Office by Monica Lewinsky, but, Howard Stern's "Pussy", "Bitch", "Whore", "Bastard", "Mother F-er", "Son-Of-A-Bitch" and "C-Sucker" are just fine with the New Jersey Governor.

Governor Whitman also does not seem to mind Stern's comments about his wanting to screw the Governor and her daughters.

In fact, Governor Whitman admires Stern so much that she had a bronze sign placed in his honor at on the New Jersey Turnpike. The $1,000 sign was subsequently stolen and is now in the possession of Mr. Stern which gives credibility to the fact that Stern is receipt of a stolen item belonging to the State of New Jersey.

It is not known if Governor Whitman is a cigar smoker.

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On September 11, 1998, New Jersey Governor Christine Todd Whitman, made a campaign appearance at Sun Microsystems in Palo Alto, California on behalf of Attorney General Dan Lungren's gubernatorial campaign. Governor Whitman said the Internet version of The Starr Report covering president Clinton's sexual encounters with Monica Lewinsky, ought to delete the more graphic details in the report.

"We don't need to know the prurient details of his sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky," Whitman said.

Proving that both hypocracy, campaigning and Governor Whitman are Bi-Coastal, let's take a look at Governor Whitman's appearances on The Howard Stern Show and see who appeared on Stern's show with her.

This guy called in yesterday and said that he'd drink water wrung out of Dee Snider's underwear for a Private Parts package. Howard told him to come down today instead. They wrung water out of Jackie, Fred and Howard's underwear. The guy drank it down with a straw. The guy must have been just a little bit embarassed because he wore a hockey mask the whole time. When he came into the studio he was complaining about how Jackie wasn't paying attention to him earlier. He started yelling out ''F-Timmy'' and ''F-Jackie'' at Jackie. Jackie said that he really didn't have time to stop and talk to the guy at the time.

KKK member Daniel Carver called in with his latest movie reviews. Today he reviewed ''Waiting To Exhale'', ''To Kill A Mockingbird'' and ''House Party''. Here are his reviews:

I guess that the ratings are out of a possible 5 hoods. Daniel really didn't like ''Waiting To Exhale''. He seems to like some of the funnier black movies but as soon as they get serious he hates them.

New Jersey Governor Christie Whitman won the election yesterday by about 1 percent.

She called Howard to thank him for his support. She couldn't talk long because of her busy schedule but she did say that Howard is invited to the inaugural ball.

New Jersey Governor Christie Whitman came in to get Howard's endorsement once again. She's called in a couple of times in the past couple of weeks. Today she was in the studio hanging out with Howard for a while. Her secret service guys were there with her. Howard talked to her a little bit about her ability to escape from her secret service guys once in a while. She needs to get away from them once in a while and she's actually gotten in a disguise to hide from them. They also discussed a couple of the issues that are bugging voters. The biggest one in Jersey is the auto insurance issue. She's said in the past that she'll bring down the rates but it hasn't happened. She said that she talked to some other governor who told her not to try it because it makes more of a mess than it's worth. Scott DePace from E! also came in to ask about getting self-service gas stations in Jersey. Right now there is a law forbidding it and he wants it changed.. there's not a good reason, he just wants self-service. Christie also said that they'll be taking a picture of Howard to put on their web site today. The address for that is www.christie97.org

Before Sandra left Howard wanted to get a kiss from her. She made her way over to him and the next thing you know Howard has his hands down her pants and he's squeezing her ass. She was really enjoying it so she grabbed his crotch and Howard didn't push her away! She said that he had a ''big one'' at one point. The delay was hit a couple of time so they may have gotten a little graphic with their language. It sounded like Sandra was really into Howard.

This guy wrote a book called "The Definitive Guide To The Best And Worst Of Everything". It has tons of statistics for just about everything you can imagine. Here are a few:

Governor Whitman called in for the second time in 2 weeks to talk with Howard.

She'll be coming down to the studio on Monday. Howard is backing her for the second time now.

This guy called in to get some advice from Howard. He told a story about how he ended up sleeping with his two younger sisters one night. He's 25 and they're 19. He was helping them out with their computer or something and they ended up going out and getting drunk. When they got back to their house one thing led to another and they had sex. He said it was the best sex he ever had. The guy is married too. According to what he said his sisters look like Crystal Bernard and his wife looks like the woman who plays the Tool Time girl on ''Home Improvement''. He said that his sisters want him to come back up this weekend and he wanted to know what to do. Howard didn't have much advice for the guy but I'm sure he'll do what's right.. and just what exactly is the right thing to do?

Howard and the gang were talking about this Tiger Woods kid who just won some big golf tournament. Tiger is a really young black guy who did something no other black man has ever done in a predominantly white sport. Howard thought it would be interesting to hear what KKK member, Daniel Carver, would say about that fact. Howard got Daniel on the phone and of course Daniel went nuts talking about how white people shouldn't play sports with black people. Daniel thinks that black people are animals and they shouldn't be around white people. Daniel also told Howard that he went out and saw Private Parts recently. The one part of the movie that Daniel pointed out to Howard was where his mother told him that he was ''...half negro..''. That must have stumped Daniel. It was quite a call..

I'm going to try and keep this story short because there are so many things to explain... There's this guy by the name of Armstrong Williams who goes on the Charles Grodin show and bad mouths Howard. Howard found out that Williams' ex-producer has alleged that his former boss used to kiss and fondle him. He says that Williams used to share hotel rooms with him and he'd jump into bed with him. Howard had this guy on the phone to tell his story. He told Howard about his experiences with his ex-boss. Howard wanted to point out the hypocrisy in this story. Armstrong Williams goes on the air and says Howard is bad for society yet he allegedly sexually harassed his ex-producer. What a scumbag!

New Jersey Governor Christine Todd Whitman called Howard to announce the fact that she'll be running for reelection. Supposedly she was announcing this for the first time on Howard's show but I heard something about it last night on the news so who knows. Howard helped get Governor Whitman elected in the last election when she was the only candidate to call in and get Howard's endorsement. She even promised Howard a rest stop if she was elected. Howard got that rest stop a couple of years later.

One of Howard's favorite Governors called in this morning. Governor Christie Whitman called in to talk about a couple of things that are happening in New Jersey. They're raising the speed limit on some roads to 65 mph. That starts today and it's supposed to be an 18 month long study to see if it causes more deaths. If it does, they'll reduce the limit back to 55. She also signed some bill to reduce the auto insurance in Jersey by 15%. These were a couple of her campaign promises that she kept. Howard spoke with her for a little while about all of that and about the rumors that the New York Stock Exchange may move to New Jersey. Whitman said she'd welcome them to the state if they want to come over.

A woman going by the name Natasha called in and offered to give Jackie $100,000 to have sex with her. She says she's good looking and didn't end up saying it was all a joke so maybe she's serious. She claims that her uncle is rich so that's where she'd get the money. Howard got Jackie's wife Nancy on the phone to see if she would let Jackie do it. Nancy said that they don't need the money that bad but if Jackie wants to do it then she get's to do it with another guy. It's hard to tell if Nancy is serious or not. Natasha may come down tomorrow with the $100,000 check made out to Jackie. Check back tomorrow to see what happens.