Let Your Fingers Do The . . . . .

Quoting The Starr Report:

"Ms. Lewinsky testified that she and the President engaged in "phone sex" approximately fifteen times. The President initiated each phone sex encounter by telephoning Ms. Lewinsky."

You've seen the '900' telephone ads on television. "Adult Conversation" - "Phone Delight" - "Call Me For A Good Time"

Having never made a 900 call myself, I decided to make a 702 call and ask a friend of mine in Las Vegas who used to work in the phone sex business what "phone sex" is all about.

Sort of a 'first hand' (no pun intended) investigation.

Well, it seems that phone sex is conversations that are meant to sexually arouse either or both parties. During the course of the conversation either, or both, parties masturbate.

Using a credit card, you can call one of these sex lines and for about $2.95 a minute, you get your jollies while you talk dirty to a stranger or, if you're so inclined, you can have them talk to you while you jerk-your-gerkin!

Some psychologists argue that phone sex is harmless while others argue that it is a reflection of a deeply rooted psychological abnormality which is manifested in perverse sexual gratification.

Whether harmless or abnormal, Bill Clinton, President of the United States of America, initiated phone sex with Monica Lewinsky 15 times while, presumably, masturbating to ejaculation.

He did it in the White House using government telephones paid for by taxpayers.

Simply stated, the President was 'slappin' his monkey' while whispering his sexual fantasies to a young woman half his age.

This mental image of the President chokin' his chicken in the Oval office with one hand, while holding the telephone in his other hand, begs for answers to basic questions.

How did President Clinton prepare himself prior to the calls to Ms. Lewinsky, did he have a a napkin ready?

Did the "Leader of the free world" splash the carpet like he splashed Monica's blue dress and, if so,
did he have one of the White House porters clean it up?

Did Chelsea's father smoke a cigar afterwards?

Did Hillary's husband wash his hands when he was finished?

Did Roger Clinton give brother Bill any 'handy' pud-pullin' pointers that Roger learned from Howard Stern?

Is Bill left-handed or right-handed?

Did Bill take his clothes off or did he merely have his pants pulled down around his ankles?

Did Bill use the same hand that he pointed to the television camera and told the American public,
"I didn't have sex with that woman."

Did Bill kiss his hand 'goodnight' when he was done?

O.K., you get the point. I think we've beat that one long enough.

The issue at hand is the President of the United States of America having phone sex with Monica Lewinsky and "snappin' his dragon" in the Oval Office.

Now ask yourself a question. Is this the right role model for our children?

Is this the man that America wants as our representative to the rest of the world? One hand on "The Button" and the other hand on "His Button".

This is not about sexual self-gratification because we have all done it, except for Captain Hook, maybe. This is about the President of the United States having phone sex 15 times.

This, my friends, is not a matter of morality, for morality is a matter for others to decide. This is a matter of every citizen in this nation being embarrassed by the actions of our President.

Somehow we expect that the occupant of the Oval Office not deface it nor use it for their personal sexual gratification. Don't we?

We demand that our historical buildings, monuments, shrines and national institutions not be spat upon, or worse!

If defacing the Washington Monument is a federal crime, what is it when the President admits to pullin' his pud while getting "phone-fucked" in the Oval Office by a White House intern? Isn't this a matter of misappropriation and misuse of government property?

And, perhaps the most seedy part of the whole matter is that William Jefferson Clinton initiated the calls himself.

What would you do if you discovered that your daughter's school teacher was having phone sex with a student?

What would you do if you discovered that your Minister, Priest or Rabbi was having phone sex in the wee hours of the morning with a member of the congregation?

What would you do if you discovered that your next door neighbor enjoyed having a phone in one hand and himself in the other?

What would you do? What would you do? What would you do?

Perhaps the better question is . . . . What will you do?

Bill Clinton must be impeached because I don't want a president who calls up a young girl late at night and asks her to talk nasty to him while he jerks off. Do you?

Every female member of the House of Representatives and every female Senator, must join the call to impeach the President and if they do not, they simply condone his actions against women.

By his actions, Bill Clinton has shown the world that he is nothing more than a dirty old man. Period!

The Starr Report reveals that Bill Clinton called Monica Lewinsky at her Watergate residence 15 times and had phone sex with her. it is more than interesting to note that the Watergate comes into play in the Clinton impeachment just as it did with Richard Nixon. The difference is, Clinton jerked himself off and Nixon jerked off the nation.

And , if you think my language is too graphic, tell Bill Clinton, not me because he's the one who did it, I'm only telling you what The Starr Report documented that he did.

IMPEACH CLINTON - NOW! BECAUSE AMERICA MATTERS!

By the way, if you ever talk to Bill Clinton on the phone, do me a favor. Tell him how I feel.

And, if you ever meet Bill Clinton in-person, do yourself a favor. Don't shake his hand!

I'm not making news, I'm only reporting it . . . . . Al Westcott
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